Classroom Chaos Survivor Gifts

"Daniel Mitchell bit me. Does our dental plan cover that?"

'Smashing party, Miss - can we have another one tomorrow?'

Computer Class.

'Life isn't fair and neither is Miss Brown!'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'I guess what happens in Kindergarten, doesn't stay in Kindergarten.'

"Fear not, Miss Hathaway. Just go home and listen to a cd of howling wolves or screeching monkeys and by Monday you'll be ready for your 3rd grade class."

It could be worse -- there could be 35 teachers for every student

'He has a learning disorder.'

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Did I throw which spitball?'

"The kindergarteners have breached their classroom confines, and are headed this way. We'll be overrun within minutes. What should we do?"

'Why? The year just started! She's not in any trouble. . . Ok. . . yet.'

Volcano Danger: 'We are shutting down your Wright Brothers exhibit until Andy's volcano is dormant again.'

Announcement over school PA: 'We're going to begin this week with an all-school search for Mr. Ridley - last Friday's substitute teacher.'

"Sorry, no more room. What a shame, I’m the teacher."

"It's a note from Eddie's teacher. It seems he's stretched his imagination past the end of her rope."

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

'Well if you don't want to see me in here anymore, then tell the teachers to stop picking on my bad behaviour!'

"Second grade, second grade, second grade, my teacher wants me to repeat second grade!"

'Ok, who threw that?'

We must stand up..against incompetence

Gesundheit! Your allergies to chalk acting up again, Ms. Weatherspoon?

'Since I put you on report Tuesday, Simkins, I've collected this lot!'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

'Topping it all off, parents now want us to see if we can bring in UN Peace Keepers.'

'If this is my final mark, I have no choice but to go to mediation.'

'I'm afraid Miss Johnson has lost control of her class!'

'It was animal day at school...I had a dog, Merry had a cat, Robert had a tarantula, and the teacher had a cow.'

"I think Mr. Jackson is dismissing the class!"

"This is going to be a fun year."

"Alright, who was it? I said no one is to make a peep!"

'After the revolution' (small people get small schoolbags).

"He's given up finding any more savings from the schools budget. . ."