Comeback Expert Gifts

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

How Gary got his groove back.

A lesson in wit

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

Wal Max - Complaints Department

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'Reinventing myself.'

'Mother sent me back to school the minute I was feeling better.'

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'Do I have anything to say before you pass sentence? Yes, but you go first. My remarks depend on what the sentence is.'

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

'My homework? Why, at home.'

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"He killed in rehab."

'He was our top salesman. We hope that one day, he will be again.'

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

Arnold tries his comeback with a remake of Kindergarten Cop.

'We can't end the meeting now. I've got this list of snappy comebacks I thought up during lunch!'

King vs King- who's the clown?

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."