Comeback Specialist Gifts

"As far as I'm concerned, it just takes my kind."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

Cranial-Metal Plate Surgery Centre

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

A lesson in wit

"She's about to get him on the rebound."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

Physiotherapist tells Humpty Dumpty: 'OK, you've had a great fall, but we'll have you back on that wall in no time.'

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'Reinventing myself.'

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Real Hopscotch: 'A 12-Step Program for the addiction to scotch.'

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

"He killed in rehab."

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

'My automatic page turner went wild, so now I'm having to learn to speed read.'