Comeback Champion Gifts

Sunrise. Sunflop. Sunback.

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

A lesson in wit

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'Reinventing myself.'

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'Your divorce was so mature, balanced, rational...you want to throw that all away with a reconciliation?'

The Voluntary Sector takes a beating

'I remember when you were this high!'

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

'My homework? Why, at home.'

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"He killed in rehab."

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

'He was our top salesman. We hope that one day, he will be again.'

'We can't end the meeting now. I've got this list of snappy comebacks I thought up during lunch!'

The comeback trail