Comeback Champions Gifts

"Oh, yeah… Well I'll be sober in the morning and you'll still be rich and successful."

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Ninety days, catnip-free. I couldn't have done it without you."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'Reinventing myself.'

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"He killed in rehab."

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

'My homework? Why, at home.'

'He was our top salesman. We hope that one day, he will be again.'

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

King vs King- who's the clown?

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

The comeback trail

"I've always feared this day would come. I'm running out of snarky replies."