Comeback Artist Gifts

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Debating Society. This is not like sports. "Comeback performer of the year" means something different here.

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

'I'm looking for Brad Pitt - not an armpit.'

A man issues a knock-out blow in an argument,

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

A lesson in wit

How Gary got his groove back.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

The Fountain of Youth.

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

'Reinventing myself.'

TV Zoo Trivia

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

'Some boys think I'm pretty. Some think I'm ugly. What do you think?'

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'