Comeback Kings Gifts

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

A lesson in wit

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

The Fountain of Youth.

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

TV Zoo Trivia

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

'Reinventing myself.'

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

'An off-white entertainment giant that's been in and out of favour with the public - what better place for Jacko's comeback?'

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

What a success story! It says this guy was in prison and now owns a corporation! Ah, he went from pen to inc.

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'