Classical Story Lover Gifts

'Oi, be careful where you're throwing that thing!'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'Yes, all at once!'

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Midsummer Night's Dream

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Upper West Side Story

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

Mom dwarves.

William Tell

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'He was a Stoic's Stoic.'

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"Long Johns Silver."

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

A Sophisticated Computer

Updated Fairy Tales Cinderella. My lawyers won't let me do glass slippers anymore --- Too many liability issues.

"No, let down your hair!"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

'....And that wont wake me either.'

Peter

David Anderson vs. Goliath

'Take no notice, he was raided by wolves.'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

"Sara, we think you have a Dostoyevsky problem."

'I know how you can get him to notice you.'

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

Social media in fairy tales