Classic Story Aficionado Gifts

Vengeance of Captain Walter Waters and Lieutenant Slaughter

"Well I say we go on without him..."

'....And that wont wake me either.'

Adam with fig leaf flashing Eve

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

'Yes, all at once!'

Don Quixote

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Falstaff

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

Mom dwarves.

William Tell

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"You'll never believe who's here."

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

Updated Fairy Tales Cinderella. My lawyers won't let me do glass slippers anymore --- Too many liability issues.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

Leon Uris.

Miss Haredale on the bridge

The shadow in the little parlour

'I know how you can get him to notice you.'

Peter