Classic Story Enthusiast Gifts

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Walrus and Carpenter.

"Before we get started, would you like an edible?"

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

'Yes, all at once!'

Don Quixote

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Falstaff

"Only one pailful? Did they have water restrictions like we do?"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

William Tell

Mom dwarves.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Long Johns Silver."

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

Giant Headless Horseman

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Tarzan of the Kangaroos'

Updated Fairy Tales Cinderella. My lawyers won't let me do glass slippers anymore --- Too many liability issues.

'Mirror mirror on the wall who's the fairest one of all considering her age?'

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

"No, let down your hair!"