Classic Tales Lover Gifts

"The left rear has nice eyes."

"Long Johns Silver."

"No, let down your hair!"

He came off as being friendly, in a wooden kind of way.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Don Quixote

Falstaff

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"If she thinks I'm just gonna come running on home, wagging my tail behind me..."

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

'Not only didn't he turn into a prince, but he gave me these awful warts!'

William Tell

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

Giant Headless Horseman

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

'Wow, I can't believe she fell for that granny getup.'

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

"Good evening, Charles - windy out, is it?"

Leon Uris.

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

Frank and Ernest Updated Fairy Tales. Do you mean fair like "pretty" or fair like "evenhanded"?

David Anderson vs. Goliath

Elvis going to the 'House of 1/4 pounders near the 'House of gingerbread'

Brothers Grimm

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

B.B.C. Watchdog