Classic Romance Lovers Gifts

I thought playing footsie went out with the horse and carriage. Perhaps, but for me, it still has that new-buggy smell.

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

Happy Valentine's Day.

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Cowboy uses his hat for a private kiss.

The Thinker / The Kiss.

Snake Eyes

Alice in Wonderland - The Pig Baby.

Mermaids in love

'This way, we'll always have rose petals on the bed. Pretty romantic, huh?'

Happiness is a cuddle woolen pullover on a cold winter day.

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

William Tell

Merry Kissmas

A mermaid is on a rock at the sea: A mermaid falls in lover with her upper half and a shark falls in lover with her lower half.

"And do you promise to love, honour and be a total whore in the bedroom."

"As a dental hygienist, the first thing I noticed was your smile."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

"I'm sorry, sir, but Dostoyevsky is not considered summer reading. I'll have to ask you to come with me."

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

'So now what?'

'I love the way you wiggle your nose when you say that.'

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

Rapunzel's hair comes down to suitor as a braided ladder.

The men of your dreams

'Do you Margaret take Charles to be your etc, etc, etc...just hit the 'I agree' button.'

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

"The forest has been cleared, Little Red Riding Hood has gone because her grandma is now buying her stuff online and you're asking me why I started drinking? Seriously?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"We're in love.""Details at eleven."

"This year I wrote you a Valentine poem: Flowers are nice, candy divine, but what we really need is a bottle of wine!"

I'm sending myself three Valentine's cards...that should keep my hubby on his toes!