Classic Film Fan Gifts

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

Old Lady Does Marilyn Monroe Impression.

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'The film, 'World Prosperity from Economic Stimulus Payments', will not be seen. Instead, we will be showing 'Gone With the Wind'.'

"I'm looking for someone with a brain, a heart and courage..."

Old lady losing control of wheelchair.

'I'm singing in disdain...'

"The whole concept is based on Hattie Jacques performance in 'Carry On Doctor'"

"Besides rust, do you have any pre-existing conditions?"

Pistols at dawn.

'A speeding ticket? What in tarnation is a speeding ticket?'

'After walking a million miles for one of her smiles, Al Jolson's Mammy was in a foul mood'

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, my AA sponsor walks into mine."

"Totally unbelievable, eh, Chaps??"

Michael Caine

'Quasimodo meets Pavlov's dogs'

'For years after Hitchcock's movie, we got real respect.'

'I learned about the birds from the Hitchcock movie, and from a PBS nature show, about killer bees.'

Classic Movie Remakes (for people your age)

Alfred Hitchcock A Life In Pictures

You don't understand....

Goodies and Baddies

Richard Widmark

A fight between a Shaolin Temple devotee and a Shirley Temple devotee.

"It's an adult western - the sidekick is a woman!"

Peter Sellers

"They're screening a Clint Eastwood season."

Michael Caine.

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

'You shall each take ten paces forward, Turn and fire.' 'em... Hold on.'

History repeats itself - the second time in digitised colour.

'How's my rampaging?'

Today isn't a good day. He's talking to New York now, then he's got a board meeting, after that there's an old Betty Grable film on TV.

Doris Day

'And what about you cowardly lion, have you seen my little Toto...?'