Old-school Film Fan Gifts

Tarzan hate C.G.I.

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'He likes to power nap.'

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Steve McQueen

A huge shark is about to attack a small fishing boat and one of the guys is saying 'Listen... there's that creepy music again' as an orchestra of fish, crabs and an octopus play the theme from Jaws.

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"I'm the bad guy..."

Titanic: How's my steering.

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

The Gladiator.

A 1920's film director with hand-cranked camera and megaphone.

"Homes on Holmes"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

I'm Spartacus.

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

David Niven caricature

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"It's not Kansas, Totem, but I can settle for it."

'It's a horror-comedy.'

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."