Classic Car Conversationalist T-Shirts

"Don't be a goon. Probably all he's after is your tires."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

"Could I ask just one question?"

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

"Do you buy cars here?"

'If he's only five years old, how come he knows the words to 'See the USA in your Chevrolet'?'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"Isn't us talking about how I would never take a ballroom dancing class an activity we're doing together?"

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

"I should warn you that many of John's thoughts are subliminal."

I want a car that says 'I've arrived' but didn't use too much gas getting there.

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

"I'm just so relieved! I thought you didn't love me anymore, but now I realize I was just projecting!!"

Attention Span Man

Big Talk/Small Talk.

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

The Hybrid

"Ladies! Ladies! Do you wanna roll my Mercedes..."

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

"It'll need a carburettor transplant, a right wing panel augmentation, and an engine oil transfusion... Maybe you should consider euthanasia."

'What do you mean I've wolfed that down? You've never stopped nattering!'

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

'No, he didn't have any last words,his wife was in there and she did all of the talking right up to the end.'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'Let me look at that map...'

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"I worry about every little thing. Barry's more of a generalist."