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Good Morning and Welcome to 'Car Talk'!

"Google car."

Roads with a view.

Bio Fuels.

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Talking car "Are we there yet?"

Pump up a tire/Pump up a jam

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

'Oh I could fix it for under fifty bucks, but I just couldn't live with myself knowing that someday you might need a whole new engine.'

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

Cars at the drive in.

Driver test: Clown's big feet create challenge

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

Auto Assembly. Ernie, I think they fired you because you were assigned to the assembly line but ere often at the high-speed test facility. I'm ambitious. I wanted to be on the fast track. Why did you remove brakes from cars? An article I read said that to achieve success you should "pull out all the stops." And I unnecessarily drove cars around the plant to show the bosses that I'm willing to "go the extra mile." But why did you refuse to deliver components to the assembly line? The arti

What's that? A car phone. All I need now is a car.

'It's time for us to end this drought! You wash the cars and I'll go to the hairdresser.'

A dog drives a car while a man has two broken arms.

'And that's not all, everyone in the audience today is going home with a brand new Buick!!! Oh wait...That's next Tuesday.'

'Yes, there has been a merger... but not the one I'd hoped for.'

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

'There are 12 in my family. Do you have anything smaller?'

F1 drivers saluting a checkered flag

'It is fuel efficient, but my ego feels crunched.'

'Power steering.'

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"A kiss? But I just brushed my teeth."

No U-turns

Fred developed a hybrid-hybrid bio-diesel car.

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

This guy's wife got a second job to buy him a fresh pair of spoke rims for his 1959 Impala. Talk about true love."

"I saw the guy who cut me off on the highway get pulled over by a police officer!"

Roadie

Ernie, you're still not being honest in the ad for the cars you're selling! Many of these were abandoned! That's why I say "driverless cars"! And lighting torched this one! Making it a type of "electric car." This was totally trashed when taken for a joyride! So I was accurate when I called it a "recreational vehicle." And the limo - It gets 5 MPG, but you say it gets over 20MPG! That's why I also say "It's a stretch"!