Clarity Crafter Gifts

"You don't need a muse, Richard. You're a technical writer."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"Any questions?"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

Brain Power

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

'We need a new hot water bottle.'

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

Cross-country knitting.

Richard Graves.

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

"I had to get braces."

Scientist using his microscope to thread a needle to repair his torn shirt.

'Your poetry totally captures the raw, primitive essence of the writing workshops you've attended.'

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

Wooly mammoth

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"You're wasting your time. They'll just lose them."

"Nice igloo, but why isn't it melting?!"

'How do these glasses feel?'

"What you're experiencing is a 'Laying Claim to Your Own Life' moment of clarity. Don't be alarmed. The condition is usually temporary. Just ignore it, and in a day or so, you'll be back to your mindless, numb and robotically conforming self again!"

Eye Doctors. Sport Psychologists. Reception. Which focus group are you here for today?

Cut out and keep your own snowman.

"Welcome to the ladies' knitting app circle."

Knitting Christmas Tree

"Homey Claus!"