Clarity Seeker Gifts

'Your hindsight is no longer 20/20.'

'Your investment are not working out because your hindsight is 20/20 and your foresight is 20/400.'

"Any questions?"

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"Yes, it's damned uncomfortable, but my thinking is so much clearer."

"Well, looks like it's time for eyeglasses."

Optometry. I understand you're trying to add a little culture here, but using impressionist paintings for vision checks is not a good idea.

Do things better. I've found that, ironically, the key to a good definition is to avoid high-definition.

For the War Inventions Board; The Protected Mine-finder for Use in Sounding for Enemy Mines.

"I'm not looking for absolute wisdom. . . just enough to get by."

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"What you're experiencing is a 'Laying Claim to Your Own Life' moment of clarity. Don't be alarmed. The condition is usually temporary. Just ignore it, and in a day or so, you'll be back to your mindless, numb and robotically conforming self again!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Fight or Flight

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

The World's Easiest Airport

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

“Who’s a good boy that doesn’t feel obliged to prove it by holding too many interesting literary and social opinions?”

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

Not much money, glory, or praise

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'I enjoy the old-fashioned pleasures - a walk on the beach, plain food and piles of cash.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

'The ball never goes where I hit it.'

Finally there is the right product for real men!"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

A Padlock and a Pet Key.