Clarity Seekers Gifts

"I think I understand the mumbo, but can we go over the jumbo one more time?"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"Any questions?"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"My resume is concise, succinct and eloquently worded. I only hope they know what I'm talking about."

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

A Padlock and a Pet Key.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Agreed. We fund only those proposals we can understand.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

Muzak's Top 10

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'So, your anger management class is working?'

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

Children watching a horse show from under the tent

"I'm not an AI, I'm a human being."

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

'When a cow laughs real hard, does milk come out of her nose?'

"Don't make us warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Mum, why are we called seagulls?'

"My neighborhood is getting too noisy. Traffic, screaming kids, barking dogs … I'm used to living in quiet desperation."

Black Forest Collectibles.

Scratch 'n' sniff edition...

"Sit in the car. The doctor will be with you shortly to treat your road rage."