Calm Seekers Gifts

'I just can't get to sleep! The baby isn't crying, the neighbors are quiet, the bathroom faucets are fixed, there isn't any traffic in the street...'

In tonight's news, it's been a slow, peaceful day. Nothing shocking happened. No major events. Nothing to get excited or sensational about. Wait, this just in … A new study says boredom can kill you. You could die from feeling calm and peaceful. A painful slobbery grotesque death. Experts? I blame the media. They need to be more sensational.

Road ragers STOP! Take your medication

"It's not unusual to feel stressed, anxious, unsure of the future...the political world is in disarray, we've gone through a turbulent time. You have to protect yourself! And I'd start by avoiding any news and especially anything to do with the prospect o

"No, there's nothing wrong at my job. That's what's got me worried."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Crowded Ice Fishing

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

'Would you be interested in attending a stress management seminar?'

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Okay. . . so what's the bad news?"

Introducing Ambient Books: No beginning...no middle...no end...just a bunch of sentences specially written to soothe and relax the reader.

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

'Wait til you see what fishing does for your nerves, Alice.'

"Actually we were hoping you'd be encouraging a more conciliatry approach to conflict management."

"You can tell us the sound of one hand clapping here, or you can tell us downtown."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Muzak's Top 10

Binary Meditation.

'So, your anger management class is working?'

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

'I feel wired. I want to feel wireless.'

Visit a Place in your Past...

Nervous Buddha

Sea of Tranquillity

'Fred's a lot more relaxed since he began viewing life as just another spectator sport.'

'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?!