Clairvoyance Critic Gifts

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

True Confessions

"Humbug! I don't believe that you can tell the future!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"You're solemates!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

Ill next Thursday

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

"Your husband says BOO!"