Clairvoyance Critic Gifts

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

True Confessions

"Humbug! I don't believe that you can tell the future!"

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Asking out a palm reader.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Quantum Psychic

"You're solemates!"

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'It's Blurred.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"Your husband says BOO!"

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

Ill next Thursday