Clairvoyancy Gifts

"Let's wrap it up. I'm getting a leg cramp."

'I have to be careful of what I say around here. Someone's always looking over my shoulder.'

"Oh, dear! You're going to meet a tall, dark misogynist."

'You must not let your guard down,. In the very near future, I see you being ripped off by an old lady...OK handsome, that'll be two hundred bucks!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

'Well, I'll be darned! It looks like just a lot of the same old stuff from here on out for you.'

Psychic predicts exact time back from lunch

Madame Lucille - 'I predict the future'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

'It's Blurred.'

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

Ill next Thursday