Clairevoyance Gifts

"What can you tell me about my life?"

The Holstein Prophecy.

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Asking out a palm reader.

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

Ill next Thursday

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."