Clairvoyance Curious Gifts

'When will it be OK to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

"You will watch a new, totally mind-blowing TV series, only to forget about it completely a couple months later."

"Spoiler alert!"

'You're in love with a girl named Laura!'

'Before we begin, let me see what my fortune cookie says.'

"My real money comes from my TV news appearances predicting stock market rises and falls."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Asking out a palm reader.

Quantum Psychic

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"I see a pretty lady who looks a lot like you....a very kind lady...and she's adopting what appears to be a box of adorable kittens!"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Ill next Thursday

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"