Clairvoyant Conversationalist Gifts

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

Quantum Psychic

"...Ooh, I wanna know more about your dark side!"

"You're solemates!"

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Ill next Thursday

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"Your husband says BOO!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

'I can't say what the market's going to do, but you're going to have fourteen children.'

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."