Cinema Skeptics Pillows

"And now the Oscar for the film that everyone claims they want to see when they ACTUALLY saw 'Fifty Shades Freed'."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

True Story Movie

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

"Is it any good?"

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

"What can I get you?" "An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman v Superman." "Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free?" "Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please." "Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named 'Martha.'" "'Martha' was not just a person. In Batman’s nightmares, 'Martha' had come to represent all that was good about him." "When Superman whispered 'Martha,' it did t

Hear the stunning reviews for Boneyard Death Killers. It's one of the greatest movies in a generation. That's according to movieblogreview.com. What's that place? Boneyard chills, thrills and packs an emotional wallop says flickreviewblogspot. It's Friday the 13th meets Caddyshack meets Streetcar Named Desire, according to joereviewsmovies.com. Awesome dlite gr8 dialog 2 says movietwittergal. I loved this film! Reports I-get-free-stuff-from-studios-reviewer.com.

I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think. About what, little buddy? Star Trek. The latest movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus. Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives.

The new Avengers movie is going to be better than the new X-Men movie because it's not about saving the whole world. Yeah. People are tired of blockbusters where the fate of the whole world is at stake. That's why "The Martian" did so well. It was only about the fate of Matt Damon and his potato garden. I want to see a movie where aliens try to conquer Venus and nobody cares. We really should have our own movie review show.

I'm here with movie expert, Mister Flick, to discuss monsters who are actors. Let's start with Jekyll and Hyde. He does some good work and some bad work. Who picks scripts well? Dracula finds roles he can really sink his teeth into. Frankenstein, on the other hand, will take just about any part! What about King Kong's career? It was brief but he did climb to the top! And some critics think the Invisible Man is among the best. I agree with that ... but he only does low-budget indie films

Film critic critics

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

"I wrote my essay specifically so that Hollywood could easily make a blockbuster out of it!"

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

Why snakes make poor movie critics.

Numb and Number.

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

'We spend a fortune on a big screen and he watches everything on his phone!'

The Bridge II

Warning: This motion picture stinks. View in a well ventilated area.

"Now watch this YouTube documentary about the deep state made by an anonymous teen with basic iMovie skills."