Big Screen Skeptic Pillows

'We spend a fortune on a big screen and he watches everything on his phone!'

Numb and Number.

Big screen TV falling through floor

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"I told you we should have got the smaller screen."

"You wanted to miss the Matisse show."

Bad Influence of TV

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

"The news you are about to see is fictitious and is shown merely for its sensational content."

"Smartphone sales" "Degradation of society"

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

Missing the score on a split-screen TV

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

"What are you doing?"

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

"It's the only way I can get some of my patience to listen to me!"

'The doctor from 'daytime television' said I've got gall stones, but I thought I'd better come to you for a second opinion.'

"It means this show has been dumbed down to the level of people who couldn't pour water out of a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the heel."

"We can now tell the rest of the mice that after testing on lab humans, phones can be an addictive time waster."

"Science fiction? Boring! It's always about gravity and blue skies and two-legged aliens. I prefer non-fiction."

"I pushed the learn button on the remote and that book popped up on the screen!"

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

"No one is watching our glorious battle. They are all staring at the tablets. . ."

"I'm sorry, but I can't commit to a full movie."

"It's hard teaching history to these kids. They don't believe anything without a video."

"A completely new concept in Television, a Vorderman free channel!!"

Family economy

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

'Thank you for welcoming us into your...'

"Honey, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to keep the details of our marriage more analog than digital."