Cinema Seating Gifts

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Horror movies

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

What's an Imax cave?

Applause

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"Housekeeping?!"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Hugh fans!"

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

Canadian film production

'It was great. I hated it.'

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'