Church Supper Coordinator Gifts

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

French suppers.

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

'How can you be so cheap?'

Announcement at teatime

"What are you cooking for Thanksgiving, Tia Carmen?"

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

'Thanks for the thought but we can't accept lottery tickets.'

'Of course I'm fulfilled. I just ate dinner, didn't I?'

'I made your favorite Sunday dinner, spaghetti, but since you still have service tonight, a plastic precaution is in order.'

What're you doing for Thanksgiving, little buddy? Having a huge party. It'll be full of turkey, cranberry sauce, wine, eggnog, football, and friends and family who love me dearly. Oh, good. I was afraid you'd be alone all day playing video games. "Turkey Slaughter VI" is no ordinary game. You're coming to my place.

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

"What's the current return on investment?"

In the supermarket

Charity Shop and Faith and Hope Shops.

''Kale'? - Did we join the Vegetable of the Month Club or something?'

"Hold on there, didn't we just do this last week?"

"Francine, I think maybe our relationship is starting to get a little too heavy."