Church Supper Enthusiasts Gifts

"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Church Basement Foodie

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Midwest Winter Items.

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Nativity - The sitcom

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

French suppers.

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Jesus swept.

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

"I really liked that stuff you were saying about all of us being sinners and how we're damned for eternity."

Hymns - Optional Extras

Today's Sermon: Are You Praying Or Just Looking At Your Phones?

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."