Church Supper Enthusiasts Pillows

"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

Church Basement Foodie

Midwest Winter Items.

"Thank you. It wasn't too 'preachy', was it?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

Chef's Surprise: "I'm telling everyone that tonight's special is Osso Bucco."

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

Nativity - The sitcom

French suppers.

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Hymns - Optional Extras

"I really liked that stuff you were saying about all of us being sinners and how we're damned for eternity."

Jesus swept.

"No matter how badly you have sinned, you don't have to worry about losing your coverage!"

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

Today's Sermon: Are You Praying Or Just Looking At Your Phones?

Vicar tells bride, 'We can't go on meeting like this'.

'Reverend, my husband didn't make it to church today. Could I have a list of the sins you mentioned in your sermon?'

"There, there, Dear. Brother Amos momentarily slipped back into his secular life when he said your cake is 'sinfully good'."