Supper Enthusiast Pillows

"Got room for another at supper, dear?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Soup of the month.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"War is hell and so is this soup."

"Rump roast?"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

Frank and Ernie's Country Diner. Special Alphabet Soup. Come in and sit for a spell.

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.