Church Supper Coordinator Pillows

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

French suppers.

'Getting ready for the church chili supper is bad enough without you calling it the 'Pre-Tribulation'!'

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

"Relax, the vicar's surrounded the place with mouse traps."

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

'We'd like a quiet table for 47.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

"Prayer does work! I wasn't picked for any of the church committees."

Announcement at teatime

'How can you be so cheap?'

'It was all she had to offer, vicar.'

"What are you cooking for Thanksgiving, Tia Carmen?"

'I made your favorite Sunday dinner, spaghetti, but since you still have service tonight, a plastic precaution is in order.'

'Of course I'm fulfilled. I just ate dinner, didn't I?'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

'Thanks for the thought but we can't accept lottery tickets.'

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

'Then that's one child's plate, one special, and one anything-as-long-as-I-don't-have-to-cook-it.'

"What's the current return on investment?"

"In my experience the Baptist have the best potlucks."

In the supermarket

Charity Shop and Faith and Hope Shops.

''Kale'? - Did we join the Vegetable of the Month Club or something?'

"Hold on there, didn't we just do this last week?"

"Being the rookie on the offering team. Bill was assigned to count the coins."

"Francine, I think maybe our relationship is starting to get a little too heavy."