Church-going Fanatics Gifts

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

United Church of OMG

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"I don't like the way the new pastor is looking at his flock."

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

Today's Sermon: We come into this world with nothing and we leave with nothing. Is there any chance of a bailout?

Out for lunch... GOD

Four Chanting Monks

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

"Let's start a small group."

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'How come I never see you in church?'

Pope Francis