Faith Fanatics Gifts

'I'm an extremist Christian.'

Bible Studly

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"No way. Lando, my friend. Lando." "There's no way Lando Calrissian was a better betrayer than Alex Krycek." "Ask any passerby on the street. 9 out of 10 of them won't even know who Alex Krycek is." "That's utter foolishness. Everyone knows Alex Krycek. He was basically the X-Files' anti-Mulder. He could out-weasel Billy D. Williams any day." "Stop!" "When men start arguing over which fictional character was a better betrayer, they have officially run out of things to talk about." "That Kr

Giant Monster in Bath

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"Redcoat is down! Repeat, redcoat is down!"

"Just browsing."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'Very nice, but I was hoping they'd be a little bit more obscene.'

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

Medieval King

"Hallelujah!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Honk if you're holy.

Santa Claws...

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"Separate checks, please."

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'

'They might be able to resist the candy, but no healthy child can walk by a freshly raked pile of leaves.'

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

"Madame, you're the most beautiful lady in the whole country and as sweet as apple pie!"

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

'If we had any guts we'd get out of here!'

"Of course, he always says it's not fit for consumption. He's a foodie."

'It's not so bad. There's only a few rules.'