Church Comedy Admirer Gifts

Pope's blessing.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

How's my sermon. . .

'Even More Disciples'

"...and in conclusion..."

The ten ammendments

Bishops Snooker

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

The Sleeping Congregation.

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Church restrooms

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Finger puppets in church.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Applause

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Great escapism, Reverend!'