Chum Chuckler Gifts

"So much chum, so little time."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

Way too much anthropomorphising

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

Geez, Bob, maybe you should see a chiropractor.

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'Time's up, chuckles.'

"Damn it—I think I just butt-donated to a charity."

Yoga - moooooooo.

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

'You didn't chew, did you ?!'

Art Is A Snap When You Know How To Spell

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

Merry Christmas

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

"Blimey, who'd have thought that at this level of play a contestant would stoop to an illegal false belly."

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

"I think he wants you to listen for awhile."

'I don't think I am the worst caddy in the world... That would be just too much of a coincidence!'

'We have weapons of mass disruption.'

Bike Week