Chimney Chuckler Gifts

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

Merry Christmas

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"You never know until you try!"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"...lettuce pray."

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

'I need a loan or a bailout so I can evolve,'

Keyboard in Heaven

Missing Parsons.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

'I wish you'd stay focused Simpson!'

Ecclesiastical Eye Test