Christmas Sweater Collector Pillows

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Applique Blinders

"I love these old decorations!"

Things I've learned...

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

'Oh no! It's Parka the Otter!'

Campaign for real beer bellies.

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

"Is that my best sheepskin?! I told you dry-clean only!"

'I went to the Shirt Fanciers Convention and all I got was this shirt!'

I Can Smell BeerI can Smell Fear.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

'Well this is awkward.'

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

'A Christmas card from the Hendersons! Did we send them one?' (wife to husband on desert island).

"My issue as a Sphynx-Cat is that I'm always cold..."

On trend Christmas jumpers

'I see you've gone digital.'

"I really miss letters."

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On ... Dunderhead and Blitzen!"

'Bring on the cool weather! My new vest is made with 100% goose down.'

Snowbird Garage Sale!

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

"Since this is your first offense, I'll just take your name off my Christmas card list."

Frankenstein's snowman.

"I see you bought more of these! Must you live up to your name, Mittens?"

'Don't look now, but I think we're being followed.'

"Say, what's all this religious stuff doing on these Christmas cards?"