Christmas Sweater Collector Gifts

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Applique Blinders

"I love these old decorations!"

Things I've learned...

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

A sheep, a humming bird and a beetle - 'Baa, hum, bug'

'Evan, I think your little sister may be trapped in there with you!. . . Jennifer! Are you in there, honey?'

'You've got me all wrong, baby. I don't want to touch your sweater...I want to eat it.'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

'Oh no! It's Parka the Otter!'

'Cards don't send greetings, people send greetings.'

Campaign for real beer bellies.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

'I went to the Shirt Fanciers Convention and all I got was this shirt!'

I Can Smell BeerI can Smell Fear.

NFL Antitrust case...

"Is that my best sheepskin?! I told you dry-clean only!"

'Well this is awkward.'

"The Crandalls wish us a Merry Christmas, and add that they're now worth over two million."

'A Christmas card from the Hendersons! Did we send them one?' (wife to husband on desert island).

"I really miss letters."

'I see you've gone digital.'

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

"My issue as a Sphynx-Cat is that I'm always cold..."

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On ... Dunderhead and Blitzen!"

On trend Christmas jumpers

'Bring on the cool weather! My new vest is made with 100% goose down.'

"Leo and I know how much you like your Christmas sweater, so we thought we'd make you one ourselves this year."

"Since this is your first offense, I'll just take your name off my Christmas card list."

"I see you bought more of these! Must you live up to your name, Mittens?"

"…And your job, of course, is to enter through the chimney!"

Snowbird Garage Sale!

'Don't look now, but I think we're being followed.'