Dog Sweater Collector Pillows

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

'Evan, I think your little sister may be trapped in there with you!. . . Jennifer! Are you in there, honey?'

'You've got me all wrong, baby. I don't want to touch your sweater...I want to eat it.'

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

"You remind me of someone."

'Oh no! It's Parka the Otter!'

'It's goose down!'

'Stop bringing it back! I want to start breaking in a new ball!'

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

Campaign for real beer bellies.

"Does the fool not realise who I am...?? I am GORDO - Destroyer of Worlds and I shall rip his soul apart...Hmmm...actually, that ball of wool looks like it needs punishing..."

A Businessman in a camo suit

I Can Smell BeerI can Smell Fear.

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

'I went to the Shirt Fanciers Convention and all I got was this shirt!'

'So I guess your mom was cold this morning.'

NFL Antitrust case...

'Well this is awkward.'

The woman next door bought a coat exactly like mine!

Legless man shopping for coats modelled by legless mannequin.

'Now let's try with the lining.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

Pregnant lady's shirt says 'Baby' with arrow pointing to tummy, Husband's shirt says 'Blubber' with arrow pointing to tummy

"My issue as a Sphynx-Cat is that I'm always cold..."