Christmas Magic Nostalgic Pillows

'The sleigh's at the Smithsonian, the reindeer are at the museum of natural history, and Santa is at a retirement community somewhere in Florida.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

Cindy had asked Santa for a puppy this Christmas...maybe, just maybe he'd been listening...?

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

The Old Elves Home

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

'Welcome' mat laid for Santa in the fireplace.

Children's Messages and Lists for Santa Clause

"Tell us how the big guy REALLY finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut a deal."

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

"I wonder how Santa got my pony into such a small box?"

'Aye lad, I remember when this was all snow.'

Talking christmas tree

'Sorry darling, my friends and I also looked Santa's Workshop when we were kids but never found it...'

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

"I'm afraid he may not recover. Even this special tonic didn't help! Andale! Let's take a picture...so we can remember the joy he brought into this house!"

'Remember when Christmas came after hallowe'en?'

'It's so cruel the way they break it to you, Not, 'school starts tomorrow', but 'tonight's a school night','

"I see you've been a good little girl."

'A child was abducted from our nursery.'

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

"They're easier to train than reindeer. On the other hand, they can't fly."

"It's 2020. What do you want?"

Christmas Tree with Playing Card Symbols

Santa Jack in the Box