Christmas Nostalgia Fan Pillows

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

Senior Jeopardy!

Teddy Time Bears

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

The Litany Of Fun

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

Angels making snow humans

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

The Wright Brothers' First Flyer

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

"Tia Carmen, I have a great knock-knock joke!"

The Old Elves Home

'I was a multi-millionaire back when it meant something.'

'I finally memorized my social security number.'

'It was your imagination. There's no little kid under your bed!'

Ron and Nancy Reagan.

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."