Christmas Nostalgia Lover Pillows

"It's 2020. What do you want?"

The Old Elves Home

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

Teddy bear with a red balloon.

Photographer Phone: 'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

Elvis Presley

"Dammit, Pooh - don't let the heffalumps win!"

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"I made you a mixtape."

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

Instructions for Bow Tie Wearers

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

'That's the first cubicle I ever worked in.'

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

Grandma's caf

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Liam Gallagher.

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!