Toy Nostalgia Fan Pillows

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Teddy Time Bears

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

'Want a mudpie? It's organic!'

The Litany Of Fun

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

Jack in the Box

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

Like many kids, Bobby had an imaginary friend. Unfortunately for Bobby, he was a critic.

'I was a substitute teacher. Former students still approach me to thank me for everything I let them get away with.'

Flava Superba

'It's tough doing what's right when you see what's left.'

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

'Some action figures! - They just STAND there!'

'I think it's nice for kids to have wooden toys.'

'My first tattoo...'

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

''To listen to the sea, press 1...'

"Tia Carmen, I have a great knock-knock joke!"

'It was your imagination. There's no little kid under your bed!'

Musical Chairs: Because kids don't already have a hard time fitting in.

Etch-a-sketch artist.

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

The Deli Counter

"Yes, I can see where being Wendy's invisible friend all those years, and then her growing up could cause separation anxiety."

'Creative right?'