Christmas Magic Nostalgic Gifts

'The sleigh's at the Smithsonian, the reindeer are at the museum of natural history, and Santa is at a retirement community somewhere in Florida.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You can still go over the river and through the woods, but it's cheaper to fly."

"Hey Ed, take a look at this...more sleigh bells...what is this thing?"

"Guess what the elves told me? The North Pole is made out of candy!"

The Old Elves Home

Cindy had asked Santa for a puppy this Christmas...maybe, just maybe he'd been listening...?

"It's just not the same."

'Let's see what Santa has in his sack for a little boy or girl...'

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

'Mail order? You said all the toys were hand-made!'

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

'Welcome' mat laid for Santa in the fireplace.

Children's Messages and Lists for Santa Clause

"Tell us how the big guy REALLY finances this free toy give away scam and we might be willing to cut a deal."

Really? Santa won't stop at your house if you're not asleep on Christmas eve? That sounds like a sort of entrapment to me!

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

"I wonder how Santa got my pony into such a small box?"

'Aye lad, I remember when this was all snow.'

Rudolph the reindeer with a huge red nose.

'Sorry darling, my friends and I also looked Santa's Workshop when we were kids but never found it...'

"I remember when Christmas shopping made my feet hurt!"

"I'm afraid he may not recover. Even this special tonic didn't help! Andale! Let's take a picture...so we can remember the joy he brought into this house!"

Talking christmas tree

..Because if Santa brings you big slabs of venison, he won't be able to get to the other children's homes.

'Remember when Christmas came after hallowe'en?'

'It's so cruel the way they break it to you, Not, 'school starts tomorrow', but 'tonight's a school night','

"I see you've been a good little girl."

'A child was abducted from our nursery.'

"It's 2020. What do you want?"

"He was just promoted to Santa's fixer."

'Are you nuts? -- Santa's secret identity is MY dad!'

"They're easier to train than reindeer. On the other hand, they can't fly."

You're really the Ghost of Christmas Past? In the flesh, so to speak. Bit early this year. Thrilling! Pardon? Since I was a little boy, I've dreamed of being considered frugal enough to get a visit from you. Will you tour me through my cheapest moments?! Tough case, this one.

Santa Jack in the Box