Christmas Comedy Buff Pillows

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

"The tree needed water. Maybe it's the plumber..."

Backfire

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"Bloody hell!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Is there a vegan option?"

Cat Hecklers

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"Beware of the frog"

The perfect choice for president?... Stephen Colbert!

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

'Sexy...I love what you're doing with your ears.'

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

Trump and the Gender Inclusive Restroom

Miami Mice

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.