Christmas Comedy Pillows

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

'HO,HO,HO,WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF SANTA CLAUS??!!'

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

"Maybe this year..."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

Hip hop Santa.

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

Santa's Second Stringers.

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

Visit Santa today...sponsored by Acme Razor Company

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

"I'm sorry but I only employ elves..."

"I thought you might like to have a merrier brain for the new millennium!"

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Christmas Eve and Christmas Adam

About Santa 2017.