Christmas Comedy Buff Gifts

'Dang it, Dasher, I told you to go before we left to North Pole!'

Backfire

"Bloody hell!"

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Is there a vegan option?"

Cat Hecklers

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

'Yes... but is he a good watch dog?'

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

"Beware of the frog"

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

Castro's successful invasion of miami beach.

'When I said you could name your salary, I meant you could give it a name.'

'It would never work out, Blackfire — our alignments are too different.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'And you're sure you handed the baby to me?'

Pyjamas - Party, Sleep and Dawn Raid.

'The pills stopped your depression but we may need to adjust the dosage, Sister Naomi.'

Trump and the Gender Inclusive Restroom

Miami Mice

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

'Okay, I'm going to make the phone ring just once, and I want you to refrain from picking up. Bite the towel if you have to.

'Sexy...I love what you're doing with your ears.'