Christianity Gifts

"It's a girl!"

R.C.I.A.

"One of you will betray me."

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'Morning, Guys! Did someone say, 'Rise and shine'?

"It's rose, not pink...Because Jesus rose from the dead. He didn't pink from it."

'But if He's omniscient, wouldn't praying just annoy him?'

Angry Joseph in school nativity play says to Innkeeper: 'No, we did not book online.'

'He only got this job because of who his dad is.'

'Have you ever heard the parable of the lawn left unmowed?'

The Miracle of Catching the Fishes (The Holy Bible).

'Ask Jesus to stop multiplying bread and fishes...it's the plates what we need now.'

Three Wise Women: 'Then at about six weeks or so you can probably expect a touch of colic...'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

'I'm an extremist Christian.'

'A tithe is defined as a tenth of your income, Mr. Talmadge -- not ten percent of whatever you happen to have in your pocket on Sunday morning!'

Jesus Feeds the 5K

"Do I have one too?"

Baby on Board

Jesus- his final words.

Can Jesus come out and pray?

'Honk if you love Jesus, Text while driving if you'd like to meet him,'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Jeff gives it up for Lent.

'Verily I say unto you, the first shall be last and the last shall be first, while those in the middle will stay roughly the same.'

Error 404: the saviour you're looking for has been removed.

"To increase attendance, I've decided to make every Sunday Easter Sunday."

"I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up."

The Last Supper or the First Easter?

Giving Things Up For Lent.

Jesus celebrates the Church's birthday